What Nobody Told Me About Immigrating: Six Things You Will Wish You Knew Before Traveling to America
Any immigrant who travels to a new country discovers, after a period of settling in, the true face of the country. I do not say the bad face or the good face, but the true one. Often he says to himself: I wish someone had told me before I took the step of emigrating. I have come today to save you what you might think and say if that happened to you, and I will speak from my personal experience. This applies to any country you intend to travel to or settle in, not only America.
First: the day flies here
What surprised me most in America, and I do not know whether my assessment is right or whether I am exaggerating my reaction, is that the day here truly flies. However much you get done in it, you feel it ends quickly. I am an organized person, or I consider myself so, and I usually know what my day tomorrow will look like and plan for it from the night before, and yet the day ends very quickly. You find yourself waking up and you have been in America for five or ten or fifteen years, and you feel the time has no blessing in it.
This may be put down to life here being grinding and materialistic, time being expensive, and financial pressures around you at every moment. But I cannot fully understand why a person feels that time literally flies here. And honestly, I do not know whether my decision to settle in America would have changed if someone had told me this before I came, because there are things you cannot change. You take America with its sweet and its bitter.
Second: one scale of success
For most immigrants here, and thank God I am not one of them, the measure of success is one thing: money and material things. This is not limited to Arabs, for many people from all over the world come with a single measure. And as long as the only measure is that, if you do not achieve it quickly you will stay frustrated and feel failure, which is a feeling that is usually mistaken.
A few days ago I spoke with a friend who settled in America around the time I came. He was successful in his Arab country and was not granted the same level of success here, so some of those around him began to say that perhaps he is not successful in America. This takes me back to a concept as old as the Qur’an itself: God, glory be to Him, says of the Day of Resurrection that He sets up “the scales of justice,” not one scale, many scales, and among them may be the scale of character and the scale of religion. I believe this concept should pervade our whole lives, in America and outside it: everything in your life has multiple measures. This comforts us and gives us the impression that what befell you was never going to miss you, and what missed you was never going to befall you.
If you see that there is one scale of success in America, which is material things, you will probably not be happy. My friend is successful in many other areas, but because he compares with his success in his homeland, and because those around him pressure him, his assessment of himself and of the story of his being in America became negative. I warn you of this before you come. Success in America is not tied to one measure. If you have righteous children, a stable home, a wife you are at ease with, and you find your daily living, you have possessed the world. Many do not believe this, but when you come to living abroad and see all the people panting after one measure of success, which is material things, remember these words.
Third: do not move without a plan or reliable information
You may be eager to get to the information, but this must not make you move without a plan. It is very important, when you go anywhere or make a fateful decision, to know where you are going and how, and to make the decision after careful study and gathering correct information from reliable sources. And people here are lost on both sides: many find it easy to state wrong information, and many find it easy to take information and apply it without verifying it and its source.
I have seen many tragic situations. Among them is someone who ruined his life inside America because of a legal case, where if he had known the correct information about it he would have made the right decision, but he took the easy way and asked those around him who have nothing to do with American law, or asked people on Facebook, most of whom know nothing about America, and most of whom live in Fayoum, Assiut, Menoufia and Nag Hammadi, with respect of course to all these areas, but they know nothing about America. Many situations happen daily to new immigrants who may ruin themselves partly or completely because they took the easy way and did not look for correct information that would benefit them in their future. This is a big mistake in America, and there may be no going back, because you may destroy your future and be unable to repair it.
Fourth: ignorance of the laws
This is tied to the previous point. There is ignorance on the part of the new Arab immigrant and a surrender to his fate under the slogan “the stranger is blind even if he can see.” He does not try to read or understand America’s laws, so he makes mistakes that could easily have been avoided if he had read a little or cared to know America and its laws before coming or after arriving.
I will mention something well known among new Arab immigrants, which for Americans is a red line: lying in official documents or in government forms to get a service. Americans do not tolerate this if they discover it. Many people lie and forge papers while knowing they are false, and you cannot imagine the size of the tragedy that may follow if it is discovered.
On the other side, there are people who give up rights they have simply out of ignorance of the law. New immigrants are cheated because they do not know the law, and do not know, for example, that there is something called “small claims court,” which may get their right back for them easily. And if the person does not want to bring the government into it, there are many civil society organizations and institutions that may help him recover his right from the person or company that deceived him. It is not easy, but it is an acceptable way and much better than being cheated and leaving the money he worked hard for.
There is a lot of information in your life that, if you read about it and educated yourself before coming or right on arrival, would make life easier for you. Among it, many people here do not know that if a police officer stops you, you have the right not to answer him, unless he stopped you for a clear reason such as a violation you committed. Most who have watched American films know that the option of silence is a right of yours. And lawyers advise that if an officer stops you and asks you for any information, you have the right to stay silent and tell him he can contact your lawyer. And even if he wants to arrest you, let him arrest you, as long as you have done nothing, and usually you will be out within minutes or hours at most.
If you are driving and committed a violation and a police car comes behind you and turns on its lights and siren, you must pull over to the side of the road. Many people do not know this, and I have seen some immigrants who settled in America make this mistake without knowing it is a mistake. After you stop in a safe place, the officer will usually get out and ask you: do you know why I stopped you? Lawyers advise not to answer that you know, and not to lie either by saying you do not know. He will talk to you a little and then give you the ticket.
In America, any traffic violation you can contest and ask to have heard by a judge. And if you plead guilty the first time, you will pay the amount and the violation ends, if it is a violation with no points. Some major traffic violations do not carry only a financial fine, but points are added to your license, and if you reach a certain number of points your license may be suspended entirely. This is simple information and you may not know it when you arrive, and your ignorance of it does not excuse you before the law, so look up the laws and get to know them.
Fifth: realistic expectations
I am a realistic person, and my videos and articles are still on the internet. America, like any place in the world, has positives and negatives. Perhaps I see its negatives more deeply because I am a critic of American civilization as a whole, and many people do not care about these negatives. But overall your expectations and hopes for life in America must be realistic, so do not delude yourself or mislead those around you in your homeland that within years you will return to them as Elon Musk or Bill Gates. That is unrealistic. And whoever thinks he will find dollars in the street or pick them from the trees, that is not true.
From those I have met in my life, usually the first to third years will be very tiring. But does that mean America will be hell? Of course not, especially if you came from a society that is under pressure or poor or has deep security or economic problems. Then America may be paradise for you, and your mere success in escaping your worse reality is a victory in itself, and this confirms that success has many measures.
As for people who come to build a better future for themselves and their children, they will struggle at the beginning if they do not set realistic dreams and ambitions. Do not forget that you are uprooting your life and its roots, which extended over decades in your homeland, and planting them in a new place. So let your dreams be realistic, even if they are bigger than the ambitions of those around you. And to be reasonable, be reasonable: think with your mind, do the duty that is on you, research well, and develop yourself.
Sixth: self-development
Many will not tell you this before you come: America is the country of development. If you do not develop yourself quickly in it, you will fall behind every day. You will not only stand still, you will find yourself falling back very fast. On the subject of development you have no excuse, because America offers many opportunities at every level: government opportunities, civil society organizations, and charities. Even the mosques and churches here have programs that help you a great deal, from distributing free food, to helping with your legal questions, to grants for study and for developing your work in some institutions. What matters is that you search and try to reach them.
And information is on the internet today. If you are an immigrant and you have arrived here, you have already arrived, so with a simple, quick search you can find out where the institutions and charities are where you live, and go and ask. I assure you that you will not regret it, but do what is on you. In America there are huge opportunities for training and development, and it wants the person who moves, who searches, who makes a decision and gets things done. America does not like the hesitant or the complainer. You can be critical of your circumstances and of the circumstances of the society you are in. And America, as we said, is not paradise, and has many things you will not like, but with your cleverness you may get past them and benefit from the good in it. Put your trust in God and you will arrive.
Article originally published on 3 October 2026.